As I was sitting with my 15 month-old at lunch today, I suddenly had a jumble of recollections from all the times in the past 9 months when my daughter has spit out or thrown food from her plate and someone proceeds to tell me, "I don't think Ellie likes (fill in the blank)." I also had a jumble of recollections of me thinking to myself "Don't you DARE put that thought in my child's head!! Just...Ssshhhhhh!!!" Let's not forget the obvious death stare I gave while all of this was going down.
I may be determined or maybe just delusional, but I choose to believe that there is nothing that my baby won't eat. Now, real talk? That's not always the case. There are SO MANY things my kid won't eat. There are SO MANY things my kid won't even try to eat if I put it in front of her. However, neither right nor wrong, my theory is that, as long as she is not allergic to the food or the food is not horrible for her (Ahem, Oreos and Cheetos - my faves!), she can eat it...and therefore, it will go on her plate.
We have all heard that teaching your baby to eat and develop a palate for a nutrious diet can be challenging and takes time, but I'm sure many can stand with me in saying that there are days where you feel like you are not winning. I am so there! And, that's coming from a mom whose baby is considered a fantastic eater.
I'm no expert. I have no concrete answers. I probably am repeating "advice" that has been published all over the Internet tenfolds. Rest assured that I am not intending to lend advice. But, here are some things I have learned about my baby.
* Contrary to what I think, my baby is not starving.
This is a firm fact about Ellie. She won't let me let her starve. As parents, sometimes it's hard for us to not think that our babies are fully fed when half of the food is on the floor and the other half is still on the plate. The truth is that sometimes all she really needs is grazing on snacks throughout the day and her milk. And, at the table, if she really is hungry, she will find a way to eat what I give her. I figured that if she is willing to go to bed and sleep a solid 12 hours through the night, then my baby is just fine.
* Don't be a helicopter parent.
What has really helped with this has been the Baby-Led Weaning method that my husband and I decided to pursue when introducing solid foods- meaning no purees, no feeding, no airplanes, no choo choo trains. Therefore, Ellie has been conditioned to eat at her own pace and as much as she is willing (or not willing) to eat. Over time, she has become such an independent eater that she gets mad if I try to help. So now, if I make a good effort to put in front of her a balanced meal, I don't feel guilty for what she eats or leaves on her plate. In fact, it's surprising to see what she will eat when I'm not looking!
* I pick where we get to eat. Period.
This is SO important to my husband and me. My kid goes to bed at 6 every night. Therefore, going out to eat in our house is a rare occasion. I have learned over time that making a restaurant choice based off of what is available for my baby to eat is no way to treat ourselves. Even more now that she can eat most table foods, there is always something a restaurant can make or I can order for Ellie. Sorry, but I can't keep wasting a meal out and ruin my goal of eating less fast food just so sweet baby girl can have grilled nuggets and fruit at Chick-fil-A.
* No custom meals.
Maybe other people are just on it with the whole parenting thing, but I surely am not. I struggle to get a moment to just quickly use the bathroom, so how in the world would I have a free moment to make a special meal for my child? Unless I am in the mood to experiment with something I saw on What's Up Moms or Pinterest, Ellie is eating whatever I cook for the family or whatever I can throw together right at mealtime. And if she doesn't eat it, that's ok, but I have nothing else to offer.
* Keep trying and be positive.
I mean, DUH! That's what the doctors and all the people and books say. It's true though. Again, I just keep telling myself that there is nothing my baby won't eat and continue to put food in front of her as if she will eat it. I give her a big hug after each meal for her efforts and we move on to our next adventure not worried about whether she has had enough to eat.
Overall, I've had to remind myself that babies are creatures of their own. They are sweet and cuddly, but they can be moody, temperamental, and fickle for reasons we can only take a stab at. At the end of the day, I have to tell myself that what I am doing is enough.
In this day and age, we get flooded with information and advice on what we should do about everything under the sun, and that makes all of us parents feel compelled to meet an expectation that is truly unrealistic.
If I can offer any shred of advice, it is to keep everything in perspective. The end goal is not to make our babies love every food in the world. I mean, do you? I don't! The end goal is to have a healthy and happy kid.
Whether you choose to let your babies eat carrots today and donuts tomorrow, or you choose to spend time to expose your kids to every root vegetable imaginable in the form of a gourmet stew, just know you're doing a good job.
If ever you feel like you are not, just know I am there with you, holding your hands in a circle, crying.
-Jen
